The Innocent Read online

  In 1152 Elf was fourteen, and a novice at St. Frideswide's. It was planned she would take her final vows on the twenty-second day of June that year. This was the feast day of England’s first martyr, and Elf had decided to take his name for her own. She would be known as Sister Alban. Her best friend, Matti, would also take her vows that day and become Sister Columba. As for Isabeaux St. Simon, their other friend, she would be married in the autumn and would leave St. Frideswide’s in late summer for her own home near Worcester.

  On a late spring afternoon the three girls sat out on a hillside watching over the convent’s sheep. Two were dressed alike in the gray gown all the convent novices wore. Isa, however, wore a red tunic over her deep blue skirts.

  "I can't believe," she said, "that they're going to cut your hair, Elf. Mary’s blood, I've always envied it." She stroked Elf’s long pale red-gold hair. "What a sin!"

  "Vanity has no place in a bride of Christ," Elf said softly.

  "But you're not vain!" Isa protested. "It is a great pity you cannot be wed, Elf. I'll wager there would be men of rank who would take you even with your small dowry. You are far more beautiful than either Matti or me." She sighed. "I hate it that we're being separated in a few months. I know I grumble a lot about the convent, but the truth is it has been a lot of fun for us over the years, hasn't it?"

  Matti giggled mischievously. "We've had a few small adventures."

  "Misadventures is more like it," Elf said with a smile. "Keeping you two out of difficulties has been a full-time occupation. You are really going to have to change your ways, Matti."

  "Reverend Mother knows how impossible that will be for me," Matti replied. "That is why I am going to remain with Sister Cuthbert, taking care of the little girls. Reverend Mother says that will help me to use up all my energies until I am too old to have any. She says we all serve God in our own way. Sister Agnes says if my voice continues to improve, I shall be a head cantrix one day. I would like that, for you both know how I love music!"

  "But once Matilda FitzWilliam becomes Sister Columba," Isa said wickedly, "there can be no more visits to the dairy barn to see Father Anselm swiving the dairymaid with his big poker."

  Matti chuckled. "It’s a shame you would never come with us, Elf. You can't possibly know what you're going to miss unless you can see it. I think I am making a big sacrifice now that I have seen a man and a woman together in the throes of passion. I am filled with regret that my family has not the means to marry me off to a big healthy fellow. Still, I have accepted my fate, and am the better for knowing the forfeit I make for our good Lord’s sake."

  "I can't wait until Sir Martin and I can be joined in the marriage bed," Isa said. "They say it hurts to lose your virginity, but afterward it doesn't hurt at all. When Father Anselm puts his big, thick manhood into Hilda, the dairymaid, how she squeals with delight!"

  "And waves her legs about until she wraps them tight about our good priest," Matti noted with relish. "Then they bump up and down until the crisis comes. I like it when he pillows himself on her nice big breasts, and sometimes, Elf, he even suckles on her like a babe at its mother’s breast. It’s very exciting to watch."

  Elf put her hands over her ears. "Matti! Matti! You know I don't want to hear such things. You are very, very wicked to gossip so salaciously. If you do not cease, I shall have to tell Reverend Mother, and I don't want to tell. How I fear for your soul, Matti."

  Matti reached out and patted her friend with a plump hand. "Do not fret yourself about me, Elf. Once I have taken my vows, there will be no more visits to the dairy barn, alas. One cannot serve two masters, and my master is our good Lord, not the lord of lust and darkness."

  "I am relieved to hear you say it, Matti," Elf replied, mollified. She loved both these girls with whom she had been raised. It did not matter that Isabeaux St. Simon was worldly, for she would be a wife soon; but Matilda FitzWilliam was another matter, particularly as she was to help Sister Cuthbert with the little girls in the convent’s care. She had uneasily broached the subject with the nun who had raised them just a few months ago; however, Sister Cuthbert did not seem to take the matter very seriously. "But some of the girls sneak into the dairy barn to hide and watch Hilda when she sports with a lover," Elf told the nun, a worried look upon her face. "Even girls who are to take holy orders," she finished in an unhappy and shocked whisper.

  Sister Cuthbert had said almost what Matti said. "But they are not nuns yet, little Elf, and they are curious as to what they will miss, if anything. Having seen the carnal act, they will either find it unpleasant and be glad to be free of such things, or they will finally understand the loss they must forgo if they are to serve God properly. There is no harm in seeing as long as they remain chaste. Most of the girls in our care go to the dairy barn at one time or another. Even I did when I was very young," she told the surprised Elf. "Do not worry, my child. Matilda FitzWilliam will be a good nun."

  "But I didn't say-" Elf began.

  "No," Sister Cuthbert said, "you didn't." Then she smiled. "Perhaps you should go to the dairy barn one day, Elf, before you take your final vows."

  But Elf shook her head violently. "Never!" she told the nun. "I want to be as pure an offering as I can be, a totally innocent bride of Christ. That is the only way for me."

  "Each of us knows the best way for herself," Sister Cuthbert said soothingly. Then she turned the conversation. "Sister Winifred tells me you are the best student she has ever had. She has asked Reverend Mother if she may have you for her assistant in the herbarium. She is not young anymore, my child, and you may one day take her place, but do not say I told you until Reverend Mother tells you it is so."

  Elf had learned of her appointment to the herbarium a few days later, and was very pleased. She liked the old nun whom she would assist, and who had taught her all manner of healing, physicking, and tending of wounds. She liked the herbarium because it was quiet and peaceful. In the summer they had a garden in bloom all around the little building housing the herbarium. Elf was content knowing her place in the orderliness of the convent.

  "Look!" Isa, pointing, broke into her thoughts. "A mounted rider is approaching the convent. I wonder what news he brings. Mary’s blood! Look how the sun shines on his hair! It’s like beaten gold, I vow."

  "My hair is gold," Matti said.

  "Your hair is yellow like straw, and when it’s all cut off that’s just what it will look like." Isa giggled. "It’s a good thing your head will be covered by your wimple, Matti. Still, you have a very pretty face. No one will miss your hair."

  "I hope you'll send your first daughter here to St. Frideswide’s in a few years so I can tell her what a troublesome wench her mother was as a girl," Matti said sweetly.

  "You are terrible, the pair of you," Elf chided them, but then she joined in their shared laughter. "Oh, Isa! I shall miss your honesty and your wickedly sharp tongue. I will pray God that Sir Martin appreciates what a wonderful wife he has been blessed with, even if she is a bit of a naughty baggage."

  "Men like naughty women," Isa responded.

  "But not wives," Matti said wisely. "Even I know that. When my father sought a match for my eldest brother, Simon was mad for the daughter of a neighbor, but father had heard she was a bit wild. He sought elsewhere for a more modest girl. The neighbor’s daughter was twenty before a husband was found to take her; and that bridegroom was mightily surprised to find the neighbor’s daughter a virgin, for all had believed her not. A reputation must be guarded as carefully as a maidenhood, my father always said."

  "I was betrothed to Martin of Langley when I was five, and then immediately sent here to St. Frideswide's," Isa said. "I will go home some time after Lammastide, and be married immediately. I have no reputation!" she complained bitterly.

  "What does he look like?" Matti asked curiously.

  "As I remember, and I have not seen him since our betrothal," Isa replied, "he had brown eyes and brown hair. He was fifteen, and had just been knighted, but as I recall he had no pockmarks on his face. I can't remember his face except that it was pleasant. He shall be a complete surprise to me, and I hope a nice one. I shall be a total surprise to him from the runny-nosed little maid I was on our betrothal day. I had a cold, as I remember, and wanted to stay warm in my cot, but I was dragged up, and dressed in my finest, and taken to the church to stand by his side while the betrothal ceremony was performed. I don't think he ever even looked at me more than once, and I suppose then to ascertain that I didn't have a squint," Isa concluded.

  The three girls giggled, but then they turned their heads at the sound of a voice calling them. It was the convent gatekeeper, Sister Perpetua, and she was waving her apron at them.

  "Eleanore de Montfort, come down at once," she shouted up the hill at them. "Reverend Mother wants to see you."

  Elf arose, and waved back. "I am coming, sister," she called. She put on her wimple, tucking her long braids beneath it, brushed the grass from her dove gray skirts, and looked to her two friends. "Am I all right?" They nodded, and Elf hurried off down the hill to the convent.

  "You are to go right to the chapter house, my child," Sister Perpetua said. "You will find Reverend Mother in the hall with a guest."

  "Who is it?" Elf asked curiously. "Is it the rider we saw coming through the gate a few minutes ago, sister?"

  "Yes," the nun answered, "but I do not know who he is. Hurry, child! Do not keep Reverend Mother waiting now."

  Elf walked quickly through the gates, and across the cloister courtyard to the stone chapter house. Entering it she went directly to the great hall. At one end of the chamber was the abbess’s chair of office, flanked by a row of stall seats where the nuns sat each morning. Mother Eunice sat in her place, a booted gentleman by her side. Elf came f
orward, and prostrated herself before the abbess.

  "You may arise, my daughter" came the permission, and when Elf stood before Mother Eunice, head bowed respectfully, her gray-blue eyes modestly lowered, the abbess said quietly, "This is Sir Saer de Bude, Eleanore. He has come to escort you home to Ashlin."

  Elf raised startled eyes to the abbess.

  "Your brother, Richard, is ill, my daughter, and he wishes to see you" came the answer to Elf’s unspoken question. "Sir Saer is the cousin of your sister-in-law, the lady Isleen. It is not a very long journey, and if you leave within the hour, you will be home before twilight this very day. Sister Cuthbert will help you to pack what you must have. You are to remain as long as you are needed. When your brother releases you, you will return to us." Seeing that Elf was desperate to speak, the abbess said, "What is it, my daughter?"

  "My vows, Reverend Mother. Matilda FitzWilliam and I are to take our vows together on the twenty-second day of June. That is less than three weeks away. What if I am not back by then?" Elf could feel tears pricking at her eyelids.

  "Then, my child, you will take your vows at a later time. Remember, all of this is God’s will, not ours. You must obediently follow the path our gracious Lord Christ has set out for you."

  "Yes, Reverend Mother," Elf replied, disheartened. If Richard had sent for her, then the matter was serious. She had seen him only once in the nine years she had been at St. Frideswide's. That had been six months after her arrival when he had come with his new bride, Isleen, who was the most beautiful creature Elf had ever seen, but did not seem particularly interested in the small child who was now her sister-in-law. And Dickon had changed. He was distracted, and had eyes only for his wife. They had not stayed long, and Elf had had no contact with them since but for a letter from her brother that came each year on her birthday. This year, however, there had been no letter.

  The abbess’s voice cut into Elf’s thoughts. "Go now, my daughter, and prepare for your journey. Sir Saer will await you outside the gates of the convent. When you are ready, take yourself to Sister Joseph, who will see that you have a proper mount. Go with God, my daughter."

  Elf bowed to Reverend Mother Eunice, turned, and hurried out.

  "The demoiselle Eleanore is of good family," the abbess said to her guest, "and of gentle disposition. She came to us when she was five, and has not left the environs of St. Frideswide’s since. Be certain you treat her gently and with respect. Above all, do not speak harshly to her. She is not used to men as you will surely understand. Father Anselm is the only man she knows."

  "Of course, Reverend Mother," Saer de Bude answered the abbess. "My cousin would be angered with me if I were thoughtless of the demoiselle." He bowed to the nun. " I shall take my leave of you, then, my lady abbess, and await the demoiselle outside your gates." He turned quickly to go.

  "A moment, sir," Mother Eunice said sharply. "What is Richard de Montfort’s true condition? I shall not tell Eleanore."

  "He is dying," Saer de Bude replied sanguinely.

  The abbess merely nodded. Then, after a long pause, she said, "You may go." She had been certain that nothing short of impending death would have elicited a call for Eleanore de Montfort. She well remembered Isleen de Warenne. A proud, selfish girl with little care for anyone but herself. And Isleen was childless after nine years of marriage. Even here in her convent the abbess had heard the gossip about that. If Richard de Montfort did die, the manor of Ashlin would devolve upon Eleanore de Montfort. And that sweet child was shortly to take her vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience. As a nun she could possess nothing, not even her immortal soul, which belonged to God. Therefore Ashlin would come to St. Frideswide's.

  The abbess considered this conclusion. There was a piece of property that matched the convent’s lands, which she had coveted for some time now. If Ashlin were sold, this excellent grazing land could be purchased. The Reverend Mother Eunice smiled. God always answered her prayers, even if He sometimes took a bit longer than she thought was entirely necessary.

  And while the abbess considered the rich grazing land soon to belong to the convent, Elf was standing in the center of her dormitory with Sister Cuthbert looking completely confused. "I don't know what to take with me," she wailed. "Do you know what I will need?"

  "Take your other skirt, two tunics, all three of your camisas, your stockings not with the laundress, your hairbrush and comb. You will need a pair of gloves for riding. I will give you mine. Our hands are almost the same size. You will wear your cloak, of course." As she spoke, Sister Cuthbert gathered up Elf’s possessions and wrapped them neatly in a piece of dark cloth. When she had finished, she said, "Go and pee, child. You have eight miles to traverse today. Then wash your face and hands. You'll need a clean wimple. That one looks as if you had been sitting on it in the grass, which I suppose you were. I'll fetch you a new one."

  Elf pulled off the offending headdress, and did as she had been bid. When she returned to the nun, there was a fresh wimple on her bed. She put it on and slipped her cloak about her shoulders, fastening it with a closure in the shape of the cross. The garment was a darker gray than her skirt. "Will you tell Matti and Isa where I have gone, Sister Cuthbert? And that I will be back as quickly as I can?"

  Sister Cuthbert nodded, gently adjusting Elf’s wimple as she said, "It will be a grand adventure, little one, and you should have one small adventure before you pledge your life to our good Lord. We will pray for your brother, Elf. Do not fear for him, for he is in God’s hands. Come, I will take you to Sister Joseph, to make certain she mounts you decently. She always wants to give us that wretched mule who will only go where he is minded to go, and not necessarily where you need him to go. You are too young and innocent to defy Sister Joseph. I am not."

  Together the two of them walked to the convent stable, a small building on the cloister’s west side. And indeed Sister Joseph was of a mind to mount Elf on her favorite mule, but Sister Cuthbert would not have it.

  "She must have the white mare," the older nun said.

  "That is reserved for Reverend Mother," Sister Joseph protested.

  "Reverend Mother is not going anywhere, but Eleanore de Montfort is. That mule is impossible with everyone but you, and you know it."

  "But we don't know how long the mare will be away, and if Reverend Mother needs her, what am I to say?" Sister Joseph persisted.

  Sister Cuthbert turned to Elf. "Can you have your brother’s serfs return the mare in a day or two? I am sure he will mount you decently when you return. That way should Reverend Mother need her mare, the beast will be here in its stable."

  Elf nodded.

  "Oh, very well," Sister Joseph acquiesced, "but that mare had best be back in two days' time, Eleanore de Montfort."

  "It will, sister, I promise," Elf said softly. "And hopefully I will be the one to ride her back." She stroked the mare’s soft nose.

  The mare was saddled. The bundle with Elf’s possessions was strapped into place, and she was helped to mount. All the girls in the convent school were taught how to sit a mare in the event they had to do so. Elf had not expected she would ever ride outside of the convent courtyard, but as she gathered the reins in her gloved hands, she felt a little tremor of excitement. She was going back to Ashlin. She would see Dickon, and using her own skills she would make him well, she was quite certain. She would see old Ida, if indeed Ida was still alive. Then she would return to St. Frideswide's, take her vows, and spend the remainder of her life serving God. Still, she wished she could speak with Isa and Matti herself before her departure.

  Sister Cuthbert led the mare and its rider from the stable. Sister Perpetua opened the gates of the convent, and Elf was led outside. Sister Cuthbert put the lead rein into Saer de Bude’s outstretched hand. "Go carefully," Sister Cuthbert told the young man sternly. "The lady is not used to being astride. Go with God, my child," she told Elf.

  They set off at a staid pace. Elf could see Isa and Matti still upon the hillside with the sheep. She wanted to wave to them, but she was too shy to do so, and afraid of causing a scene. Saer de Bude kept the mare beside his own mount, and to his right. For a time the animals moved in silence, and then the young man spoke.